{"id":2,"date":"2025-05-17T16:41:47","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T16:41:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thequietrose.com\/?page_id=2"},"modified":"2025-10-14T17:14:13","modified_gmt":"2025-10-14T17:14:13","slug":"reflections","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/reflections\/","title":{"rendered":"Reflections"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"2\" class=\"elementor elementor-2\" data-elementor-post-type=\"page\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2f762194 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"2f762194\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f8417ca e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"f8417ca\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;slideshow&quot;,&quot;background_slideshow_gallery&quot;:[{&quot;id&quot;:157,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/thequietrose.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2025\\\/10\\\/506879784_742563331562961_5192284825197825065_n.jpg&quot;}],&quot;background_slideshow_slide_transition&quot;:&quot;slide_up&quot;,&quot;background_slideshow_loop&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;background_slideshow_slide_duration&quot;:5000,&quot;background_slideshow_transition_duration&quot;:500}\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-cd20f9e e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"cd20f9e\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2f732e93 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2f732e93\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">My reflections<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<footer class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1673e06d e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"1673e06d\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-67682981 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"67682981\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-67464231 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"67464231\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7bfc9db0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7bfc9db0\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p data-start=\"485\" data-end=\"988\">He hired me to work for him, and almost immediately he started to pursue me. At first I thought it felt wrong, but I gave him a chance. Not long after, he moved in \u2014 saying his sister needed the place more than he did. In the beginning he was kind. We even decided to buy a larger apartment together. My father had helped with money for the place; later he claimed it had always been his \u2014 and that complicated everything. Still, we bought the apartment together and began renovating.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"990\" data-end=\"1374\">After a while he changed. I worked for him, and clients began to mention rumors about him and a colleague. When I confronted him, he denied it. Then one night he didn\u2019t come home. A week later I found a video from the shop showing he had been unfaithful. I sent it to him; he admitted it, apologized and blamed alcohol. I was devastated, but I forgave him and gave him another chance.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1376\" data-end=\"1927\">He proposed when we returned from a trip. At home things quickly turned dark again. I found long messages on our computer where he humiliated me and said cruel things \u2014 convinced I was worthless and that he wanted someone else. I printed those messages and read them to him out loud. He reacted violently: he chased me in our apartment, ripped open the bathroom door and put his hands around my throat. I fought my way free, ran to my car and drove to a friend. The next day I moved out. The apartment was later sold. I had my first panic attack then.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1929\" data-end=\"2823\">We broke up, but after a few months we met again. He persuaded me to see him; I would not move back in. Over ten years we were on and off. He was an alcoholic and when he drank he hit me. Once, three years later, while on a trip abroad after we had reunited, he tried to force me on a hotel bed. He demanded details about someone I had seen; I refused. That night he became violent and tried to strangle me on the hotel bed. I fought him off, and in the moment I struck him and threatened him if he ever did it again. Ironically, he never hit me after that \u2014 but the betrayals continued many times. Over the years I became numb. I paid the bills, managed the homes, and kept quiet about our life. Friends and family asked where he was; I often didn\u2019t know how to answer. I felt trapped \u2014 I had given up on leaving. Then another person entered my life, and that finally became the turning point<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b604845 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"7b604845\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4ef8f5ab elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4ef8f5ab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t2026  \u00a9 All Rights Reserved\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/footer>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a6f0f5c e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"a6f0f5c\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9fd5b5a e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"9fd5b5a\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7d7628a3 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7d7628a3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;gradient&quot;}\">\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-36f935da e-con-full e-flex e-con e-child\" data-id=\"36f935da\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e28e51f elementor-widget__width-inherit elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-invisible elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"7e28e51f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_animation&quot;:&quot;fadeInLeft&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7f91a73e elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget-tablet__width-inherit elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"7f91a73e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h5 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">When Love Became Control \u2013 and How I Found My Way Out<\/h5>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-311fcf57 elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-widget-tablet__width-inherit elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"311fcf57\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p data-start=\"369\" data-end=\"386\">\n<\/p><p data-start=\"388\" data-end=\"707\">The new man I met when I was already broken. My body still remembered the fear, and my mind was trying to forget it.<br data-start=\"496\" data-end=\"499\">He came with words that sounded like safety \u2014 promises, gentleness, care.<br data-start=\"572\" data-end=\"575\">He said he loved me before he really knew me. He said he would protect me.<br data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"652\">At that time, I needed to believe that someone could.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"709\" data-end=\"1134\">But it wasn\u2019t love. Not the kind that builds.<br data-start=\"754\" data-end=\"757\">He moved back and forth between me and his past. One week I was the love of his life, the next I was nothing.<br data-start=\"866\" data-end=\"869\">He made me feel guilty for things I had never done \u2014 for people I hadn\u2019t met, for his children not wanting to see him, for my own fear.<br data-start=\"1004\" data-end=\"1007\">He accused me of things that lived only in his mind.<br data-start=\"1059\" data-end=\"1062\">He drove past my house, watched who came and went, and called it love.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1136\" data-end=\"1565\">At first, I argued. Later, I went silent.<br data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1180\">Because silence kept me safe \u2014 or at least that\u2019s what I thought.<br data-start=\"1245\" data-end=\"1248\">He told me I was too sensitive, too anxious, too emotional.<br data-start=\"1307\" data-end=\"1310\">He said I was beautiful one day and disgusting the next.<br data-start=\"1366\" data-end=\"1369\">Every time I tried to leave, he pulled me back with apologies and tears.<br data-start=\"1441\" data-end=\"1444\">I was drowning in a cycle of confusion \u2014 fear, hope, guilt, and love twisted together until I couldn\u2019t tell them apart.<\/p>\n<p data-start=\"1567\" data-end=\"1911\">I had panic attacks almost every day during that time, and for months after I finally left.<br data-start=\"1658\" data-end=\"1661\">He never helped me through it. He said I caused it.<br data-start=\"1712\" data-end=\"1715\">I learned to survive on my own \u2014 shaking, but still standing.<br data-start=\"1776\" data-end=\"1779\">And that\u2019s when I began to understand: what I had lived through was not love. It was dependence, created by manipulation and fear.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-27a371b5 e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"27a371b5\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-669e2860 elementor-share-buttons--view-icon elementor-share-buttons--skin-framed elementor-share-buttons--shape-circle elementor-share-buttons--color-custom elementor-grid-0 elementor-widget elementor-widget-share-buttons\" data-id=\"669e2860\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"share-buttons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid\" role=\"list\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_facebook\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on facebook\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-facebook\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M504 256C504 119 393 8 256 8S8 119 8 256c0 123.78 90.69 226.38 209.25 245V327.69h-63V256h63v-54.64c0-62.15 37-96.48 93.67-96.48 27.14 0 55.52 4.84 55.52 4.84v61h-31.28c-30.8 0-40.41 19.12-40.41 38.73V256h68.78l-11 71.69h-57.78V501C413.31 482.38 504 379.78 504 256z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_linkedin\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on linkedin\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-linkedin\" viewBox=\"0 0 448 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M416 32H31.9C14.3 32 0 46.5 0 64.3v383.4C0 465.5 14.3 480 31.9 480H416c17.6 0 32-14.5 32-32.3V64.3c0-17.8-14.4-32.3-32-32.3zM135.4 416H69V202.2h66.5V416zm-33.2-243c-21.3 0-38.5-17.3-38.5-38.5S80.9 96 102.2 96c21.2 0 38.5 17.3 38.5 38.5 0 21.3-17.2 38.5-38.5 38.5zm282.1 243h-66.4V312c0-24.8-.5-56.7-34.5-56.7-34.6 0-39.9 27-39.9 54.9V416h-66.4V202.2h63.7v29.2h.9c8.9-16.8 30.6-34.5 62.9-34.5 67.2 0 79.7 44.3 79.7 101.9V416z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_twitter\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Share on twitter\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<svg aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"e-font-icon-svg e-fab-twitter\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\"><path d=\"M459.37 151.716c.325 4.548.325 9.097.325 13.645 0 138.72-105.583 298.558-298.558 298.558-59.452 0-114.68-17.219-161.137-47.106 8.447.974 16.568 1.299 25.34 1.299 49.055 0 94.213-16.568 130.274-44.832-46.132-.975-84.792-31.188-98.112-72.772 6.498.974 12.995 1.624 19.818 1.624 9.421 0 18.843-1.3 27.614-3.573-48.081-9.747-84.143-51.98-84.143-102.985v-1.299c13.969 7.797 30.214 12.67 47.431 13.319-28.264-18.843-46.781-51.005-46.781-87.391 0-19.492 5.197-37.36 14.294-52.954 51.655 63.675 129.3 105.258 216.365 109.807-1.624-7.797-2.599-15.918-2.599-24.04 0-57.828 46.782-104.934 104.934-104.934 30.213 0 57.502 12.67 76.67 33.137 23.715-4.548 46.456-13.32 66.599-25.34-7.798 24.366-24.366 44.833-46.132 57.827 21.117-2.273 41.584-8.122 60.426-16.243-14.292 20.791-32.161 39.308-52.628 54.253z\"><\/path><\/svg>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-17649f5f e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"17649f5f\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3c87a770 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3c87a770\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">more insights<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e82bea1 elementor-grid-tablet-1 elementor-grid-3 elementor-grid-mobile-1 elementor-posts--thumbnail-top elementor-widget elementor-widget-posts\" data-id=\"e82bea1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;classic_columns_tablet&quot;:&quot;1&quot;,&quot;classic_row_gap_mobile&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:52,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;classic_columns&quot;:&quot;3&quot;,&quot;classic_columns_mobile&quot;:&quot;1&quot;,&quot;classic_row_gap&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:35,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]},&quot;classic_row_gap_tablet&quot;:{&quot;unit&quot;:&quot;px&quot;,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;sizes&quot;:[]}}\" data-widget_type=\"posts.classic\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-posts-container elementor-posts elementor-posts--skin-classic elementor-grid\" role=\"list\">\n\t\t\t\t<article class=\"elementor-post elementor-grid-item post-1 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-uncategorized\" role=\"listitem\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__text\">\n\t\t\t\t<h3 class=\"elementor-post__title\">\n\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/17\/hello-world\/\" >\n\t\t\t\tHello world!\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__meta-data\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-post-date\">\n\t\t\tMay 17, 2025\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post__excerpt\">\n\t\t\t<p>Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t<a class=\"elementor-post__read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/17\/hello-world\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Hello world!\" tabindex=\"-1\" >\n\t\t\tRead more &gt;\t\t<\/a>\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/article>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My reflections He hired me to work for him, and almost immediately he started to pursue me. At first I thought it felt wrong, but I gave him a chance. Not long after, he moved in \u2014 saying his sister needed the place more than he did. In the beginning he was kind. We even [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":166,"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2\/revisions\/166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thequietrose.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}